A 6 1/2 Year Old's Review of Transformers 2

My son is not normally big on watching movies, mainly as my taste in movies seems to be either too old for him or he loses interest when no one gets shot in the 1st 20 mins. So its rare he actually asks to watch a film at all. he asked to watch 'a transformers film' as my parents have bought him a few huge Transformers models and I suppose he wanted to see if it was as much fun as the toys were to him.

Now unsuprisingly I saw this as an excellent experiment because as adults our views on what are essentially kids films are coloured by our experiences. So what would a normal 6 1/2 year old little boy think of his 1st encounter with a Micheal Bay / Transformers film? I'll put a list of his comments I took at various points in the film (Transformers 2: Revenge of the fallen).

The inital opening scens he found interesting due to his obsession with anything to do with armies , soldiers and SWAT teams. Big robots? Well apparently not as interesting as a guy with a huge gun lol.

5 mins in:

Kane: Daddy is the camera man drunk?

Me: No he's not ....why son?

Kane: its wobbling about too much I can't see whats happening!! Its stupid they should have it less wobbly.

10 mins or so in:

Kane: that lady needs some more clothes coz those ones dont fit her....

Kane: ..and why is she lying on the motherbike thats not the best way to paint a picture on it! She'd stupid!

Me: ???!!! (no reply to that one)

20 mins or so in:

Me: What do you think of the transformers then?

Kane: my toys are better, those looks messy...I can't make out what each bit is suposed to do!

Me: Why would you need ot knnow what each bit does then?

Kane: how am I suposed to make up games if I dont know how its supposed to work...stupid daddy.

Bit with bitch who transforms into decepticon:

Kane: I wish I had a tongue like that! Then I could get to the bottom of my sherbet dibdabs easier.

Me: Yep I have to admit I can see the uses of a tongue that size myself.....

Kane: That lady is being too stroppy, I think shes going to smack someones bot!

Me: *cough* ahem....yes...well....

roughly middle of film:

Me: so what do you think of that guy then Kane? (shia labeouf's character)

Kane: He's an idiot, I bet no one plays with him coz he's really annoying. If I met him I'd hit him and tell him to stop being a stupid idiot!

Death of Optimus Prime:

Kane: I liked that bit where he got stabbed with the big bit of spikey metal...they should have had some more explosions though. Big gaint ones!! (runs round room pretending to blow things up for about 10 mins).

Kane: those soldiers don't have enough guns, they are too small. If I was going to shot big robots I'd make sure I had a really big gun that shooted giant bullets with arms on them.

Me: why not just have a small gun that shot bullets that did a lot of damage though?

Kane: thats easy...coz big guns and giant bullets are better and do more damage,if they had arms they could grab on as they went past.


The Big End Sequence:

Kane: that camera is too wobbly I can't see the robots properly! They should keep it still and get a better camera.

(more running round pretending to blow things up)

Kane: I think they should have put some more biggerer (*sp) explosions in the film!

When I asked Kane what he thought of the film when the end credits were rolling, in between mouthfulls of chicken korma I got the folowing gems:

Me: so what did you thik of the film? Did you enjoy it?

Kane: yeah it was good, but they need better robots and a hundred, hundred, hundred more explosions...and really big guns.

Me: Anything else?

Kane:....... I think they need ladies with more clothes on or they'll get cold & die as well. I liked bumblebee a lot, but his face looks weird, he needs a better head.

So there ya go, although he didn't like the shakey cam, I seem to have a mini micheal bay on my hands. So I suppose the moral of this all is that although as adults we may find bay's style annoying at times and often trite, to a 6 1/2 year old boy its mostly awesome. If I was Micheal Bay that'd make me pretty happy as young kids are his target market.